Notes of a Nervous Man Worried for the Future

The universe expands at 68 kilometres per second; the bubble within which we are housed continues to grow like an inflating balloon and we could sit here on our pedestals of pain worrying over whether or not that bubble will burst, but what would be the point?

Why not follow the lead of the universe and expand your own life as well?

My new ‘thing’ is to make decisions based on the rules from the Fighting Fantasy Adventure Books. This works extremely well; first of all it absolves you of all responsibility from the final decision, and secondly, it reduces the stress of the process for making a decision.

It works something like this, and I am using the 1985 edition of Steve Jackson’s APPOINTMENT WITH F.E.A.R. as a guide.

On your Adventure Sheet you will need to roll a dice to give you stamina points and strength, this is important should you face an obstacle where you need to confront another person, like a villain, or your manager. Then, with points on the board, you head out into the wide world prepared and with options.

You are faced with  a decision: do you make that long and lonely slog into work (turn to age 90) or do you decide that today is a good day to read a book and do something far more interesting and liberating (turn to page 25)?

Page 90 reveals the villain, or manager, who screams at you for not wearing the correct corporate lanyard and you must rush home to get it from the bin where you threw it last night. You lose a stamina point for the rushing about and stress.

Page 25 reveals a warming cup of tea and a heavy dose of reading your favourite book, which eases your stress and boosts your strength points.

Reward!

As is clear here, the best decision is 25, and the beauty of this is that once you have stated your intention to pull a sickie, which everyone should do to stick it up the holes of pointless economy-driven, self-serving b&^$%(*s, you can actually take time to be nice to yourself; which, let’s face it, office-life does not do.

And then, another choice appears, do you have a bourbon (P43) or custard cream (P12) with your tea, you will notice stamina points increasing giving you better health and a stronger attitude.

What is most lovely about this process is that you are not responsible, the book made you do it.

I cannot really advocate pulling a sickie, as we all need to work in order to get money in order to pay bills.

Right?

Harvester have announced a new offer to feed your kids for £1. I am myself a child of my parents, as they are of theirs, so in essence everybody has the right to be fed for £1. Thank you Harvester.

1990’s - Beck - The Cranberries - Oasis - Blur - TLC

Great time for music, and also a great time for wearing clothes that were baggy and neutral. It was the decade where it was cool for a while to be dressed in white, like God, and to writhe around with perfect torsos, or was that Take That?

It was also the time of polystyrene Big Mac cartons, that were *cough* beige, as most of the decade was, and also plastic…

We’ve come so far.

*coughs*