Performance Poetry

Women: Why I Love Christina Hendricks

I want to talk about women.

In a recent Sunday Times Magazine there were some very indiscreet pictures of young men photographed in poses usually reserved for the younger woman (bum pointing blatantly towards the camera, see The Avengers; or legs pointing upwards as if  trying to change a lightbulb with your toes). Far from being amused by this article, I was pretty disturbed by it. Not because it would be awful for a male to have to strike the pose of a female, but at how women, and I talk here about models mainly, are being groomed into looking like young boys or girls: no chest, no hair, no fat, just bone.

This is not right. In fact, it's pretty bloody sickly that we have a fashion industry that seems to choose models based on how young they look and how skinny. Especially when stories like Jimmy Saville's come to light. Isn't it hypocritical of us as a nation to cry foul when a man is caught with an under age girl and then go ask us to appreciate photos of eighteen year old boys and girls who are trying to appear younger.

Far from it being a natural need to appear and yearn for youth, I think what we actually want is someone to take the rest of the world seriously and admit that yes, (shock, horror) we do get older and we do get fatter. Is that such a crime?

This is why I love Christina Hendricks.

Here is a woman who has found adulation with Mad Men and suddenly, the size that was once a reason for her to be turned away is now a reason for her to be hired.
When you look back at the movies of the fifties and the sixties, women were curvaceous; they had character. The women of the forties had guts; they had three-dimensional characteristics. When did a woman turn into a stick-thin side-show where men can fondle them or make lewd comments about them.
I could just see Christina Hendricks being cast in a movie from the forties or fifties, she has that charisma and that attitude. She also has that wonderful curve that feminises her and yet, especially nowadays, gives her a power. She seems to be so at ease with herself, so confident. I'm sure it has not always been that way, we are, after all, all human beings who have good days and bad days; but I think she can do a lot for women in the movie and fashion industry. Please let's us have women who are bold and who are WOMEN. Not lady-boys!

She is also a terrific actress and deserves all the plaudits that she receives. Plus the fact that she has a beautiful face and delicate skin, yes, perhaps women should hate her too!

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I am currently reading a book by Syd Moore called Witch Hunt, about a journalist who is trying to uncover a story about a witch-hunter and the awful tragedies in Essex, which may have led to the terrible witch-hunts that took place in England and the USA. This is a really great book, neatly written and with a smart central character. Again, this shows how women have been treated over the years and I ask how the male population could have got away with it for so long. Was it fear of God? Was it strength? The church held too much power and in a good old Christian way the women was cast aside as the scapegoat for all that was wrong in the world. I wonder of the leaders in those days actually wondered how the human race were to survive without women to pro-create for them, or was that a question that never popped up while they decided to make them second-class citizens!

Women: I find you all extremely interesting; intelligent; wonderful; alluring; enticing and funny. I like to think all  of us are equal and it is our duty, together, to raise the next generation to go one step further. Let's eat, drink and be merry, without sex getting in the way.

James Bond 007 Skyfall

October 26th marks almost 50 years to the day that Dr No was first released onto the cinema-going public. It also marks the day that the latest Bond movie, Skyfall, hits the cinemas. The new movie has received great reviews from critics, in what promises to be one of the best Bond movies yet; taking in the grit and action of the previous Daniel Craig outings, crafted with the characters and technology that we love from other Bond movies together with the director, writers and star's determination to return to the thrilling realism of the original Ian Fleming novels.
In the Telegraph this week there is an interesting piece by Charlie Higson about the James Bond phenomena, filled with fun facts and figures for the series. For instance, Pierce Brosnan uttered the immortal line "Bond, James Bond" five times in his cinematic career as the secret agent; Daniel Craig has said that line once in two movies. The 22 Bond movies (discounting Skyfall) has seen locations in 55 cities and 44 countries. Roger Moore ordered the most Vodka Martinis and he bedded the most women; but then it was the Seventies.

Most interesting of all is the box-office takings for the series. 

With figures adjusted for inflation the most successful Bond movie to date is Thunderball, which in 1965 took a whopping £616 million worldwide. This is closely followed by Goldfinger (£553m) and Live and Let Die (£523m).
The least successful movie is not hard to guess, Licence To Kill, which recorded takings of £180m in 1989 and marked the end of Timothy Dalton's brief sojourn in the series. The woeful Die Another Day, which brought Pierce Brosnan's 7 year reign to an end, took a massive £345m, no doubt because of the invisible car and awful Madonna theme tune.








Top Ten Bond Movies (figures adjusted for inflation)
Thunderball
Goldfinger
Live and Let Die
You Only Live Twice
Casino Royale
The Spy Who Loved Me
Moonraker
Diamonds Are Forever
Quantum of Solace
From Russia With Love

Half of the top ten star Sean Connery as James Bond, with Daniel Craig and Roger Moore sharing the other half of the list. Interestingly, George Lazenby's movie still performed better than Timothy Dalton's even though he was dumped after just the one performance. There is some suggestion that he got too big for his boots.
So, other than being most peoples choice as the best Bond, Connery is certainly the most successful in financial terms.

Skyfall however promises to be huge. There has been a four year break for the series, brought on by problems with MGM and the rights. In that time, Sam Mendes (the director), Daniel Craig and the writers had been studying up on Fleming's original novels and all agreed to get to the core of the character. Same Mendes has built a reputation for producing powerful emotional performances from his actors and if you tie that in with the huge anticipation, then Skyfall could end up topping the above list.

Anticipation has been growing since the London Olympics and the producers could not have picked a better year to unleash the next movie. Britain is currently enjoying an unusual season of national pride brought on by our Olympic heroes and Bond has been part of that. What better advertising do you need than an appearance with the Queen.

The trailer looks great. Daniel Craig looks the part as Bond, and though he may lack the charm of Roger Moore, he certainly has the charisma, as well as looking as if he could kill you any minute. That's the Bond that we need at the moment; we need a hero; we need a fighter and we need someone who has intelligence as well as the grit. Daniel Craig gives us that, I hope that Skyfall delivers in spades.

Skyfall trailer

How to Write and Be Published Books

There are many titles out there in the shops and in the local libraries that tell you how to be a writer; some are useful and offer good advice together with simple to understand exercises or tips. Others, however, I have found, seem to get bogged down with how to write or how to break into the the world of agents and publishing houses. A book I am currently reading, albeit very interesting, was printed in 2011 and seems to be five years behind. I have constantly been reminded of the fact that to make it you need an agent, to do that you need to be published, to do that you need an agent etc (the Catch 22 scenario), some of these books get too bogged down with an apparent need to produce literary greatness. Geniuses like Hemingway or Dickens never went to a Creative Writing workshop or had a degree in it. They also never (I understand) studied a Write For A Living in a Week, they just wrote and wrote what they knew: what they loved to write about.
Fellow writer Jeff Goins, who I follow on Twitter (https://twitter.com/JeffGoins), has written such a book and it has proved to be the best one I have read yet. In it he wants you as a writer to enjoy writing, not think about the means to a successful way of living. If you enjoy what you write then surely it would follow that your readers will enjoy it too.

Think of a film you may have seen where it comes across as a mess; the actors look awkward; the direction is mundane; the camera-work shoddy and the advertising non-existent. Does that come across as a project that was enjoyed by anyone?

Networking is very important (and something I'm not very good at); learning from your mistakes is also very important, after all, Dickens didn't produce Pickwick Papers for all of his life, it led on to such works at Oliver Twist and Great Expectations. Equally as important is to love the process of the whole thing in the first place. Write about something that you love to write about and that you love to talk about. Whether it's a science fiction novel; crime thriller or a story of a little steam train. If you love it, then your audience will love it.

By the way, a brilliant proofreader is worth their weight in gold!

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Piper in the Woods by Philip K. Dick http://www.gutenberg.org/files/32832/32832-h/32832-h.htm is a fanatstic short story that I would love to turn into a screenplay; It's a great read about a man who is convinced he is a plant. What I loved about this would be the connotations if this man were in the here and now and manged to convince people that they too could be plants. A whole different way of life and a new belief system would have to be put into place. I find this idea intriguing.

Philip K. Dick is a master.

Rich People Always Go Jogging

It is a safe bet that most people that you may see or know in your area keep fit; when I drive along Forest Road, which is a particularly affluent area of Tunbridge Wells with enormous houses that could easily be passed off as a castle or keep, housing most of the inhabitants of a small compound, I see many joggers. Now these are mainly women (obviously in our democratic and diverse society that we like to promote to other societies the man still goes to work and the woman stays at home), they are primarily older women too (success cannot come to those who are too young to appreciate it) and they are super-trim; super-fit with a glowing tan to suit.

Now I am not saying that this is wrong; there is a socialist bug sitting on my shoulder bemoaning that all of this is unfair. But I will not listen, because the actual truth is that those who are succeeding in their lives have something that a good many people do not:


 DRIVE. There are good many of us who get home at a reasonable time from a days work and do what? Stick the TV on; go to the pub; eat in front of the TV then follow it on with chocolate and a few glasses of wine before heading to bed with a sore head thinking negatively about the following day. I know a few people who just get through the week on the promise that Friday they will hit the pub and drink enormous amounts of alcohol, that is their reward.

So I ask: is there not more reward by doing more? Even if you do shift-work, a simple use of time-management means that you can get more from your day. Think of the reward to yourself if, instead of getting drunk or watching the gloom of Eastenders, you went for a light jog or a swim. Perhaps you would go on-line and do that course you've always wanted to do. You could join a class and do yoga; learn philosophy or paint. You could even re-take GCSE's or A Levels in your spare time. Yes it all costs money, but if that extra work meant that you moved a little further up the ladder then isn't that worth it?

Watching Eastenders won't help you win that promotion at work or give you management experience.

There is a different mindset to those that are successful (and those are the ones we seem to hate because of their success, the green-eyed-monster?), and those who are not. It takes your body a very small amount of time to re-adjust to a different way of working. Yes you may be tired to start with, but your brain will DRIVE you forward. A goal is there to be reached.

DRIVE. DETERMINATION. PERSPIRATION. INSPIRATION.

There is a theory that if you want success then you should mimic those that you want to emulate. Instead of looking at the richer set in our society and thinking why always them maybe you should be thinking that is me, I will be jogging one sunny Wednesday morning because I have the time for myself to do that.

To change the way you think does take effort; to be successful at what you are doing does take effort. I know not everyone can do it but if you should find yourself complaining about how unfair it is that other people enjoy the spoils then remember one thing: a very high percentage of those people have worked hard and earned it.

You can do that too.

Being British

What a great year it has been for Britain; for Great Britain and for us British.

Being a complete movie nerd I am extremely excited by the characters that are currently being portrayed in major movie releases. Let's take a look:

Harry Potter last year broke records as the final movie pushed to the highest grossing chapter in the series. After that came the very successful theme park at Leavesden. Harry Potter lives on! http://www.wbstudiotour.co.uk/

Sherlock Holmes is enjoyable something of a renaissance with a brilliant BBC series, a top Hollywood blockbuster starring Robert Downey Jr and now a potentially good US remake starring Johnny Lee Miller and Lucy Liu in Elementary. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2191671/

Doctor Who is back on our screens and kicked off with a stonking episode featuring his greatest enemy, Asylum of the Daleks.

Judge Dredd, the fascist policeman from the pages of 2000AD gets his second screen outing in what looks like a gritty and violent realisation, more akin to the tone of the original stories. Karl Urban looks awesome in the title role yet there are concerns that it is too close to the plot of The Raid, even though they were filming at the time of the release. This looks good and great to see a British hero who is not eccentric, just tough.

The Sweeney is getting a major release and stars Ray Winstone in the old John Thaw part. A great 70's tv show can show a new audience what all the fuss was about.

James Bond returns in October for Skyfall which promises to be one of the best Bond movies yet. Daniel Craig is back; Judi Dench is back; Javier Bardem is the villain and we have the first appearance in the new series of Q.

Continuing the British theme, Batman was played by a Brit as was Bane, Alfred and Gordon.

Now we need to have The Avengers remade (as in Steed and Peel) and all will be well with the world.

But seriously, in the movie world us British should be proud of the characters that we have. In this year especially, our Queen's jubilee and the fantastic achievements of our sportsmen in the Olympics and Paralympics, we have an extremely good  reason to look at ourselves and sort of admit, very quietly and without too much undue fuss, yes, we're a pretty worthwhile country and we offer this world a lot of good things.

Whisper it, we are a little bit liked by others.

Now, put away the bunting!

Writing a letter

I have recently been studying a copy-writing course; it runs for one week and by the end of the week I have been promised on the blurb to have improved writing skills.

Today I studied the art of writing a letter, as well as when to write on paper or when to use an email. Emails are, by their very nature, personal and lighter; good for business when you would like an immediate response but not best when approaching someone that you don't know. A letter, on the other hand, gives your message more power as well as giving the recipient more respect. It is always best to write a letter when you want to praise or thank someone, an email would get lost among all the spam and the praise would be easily forgotten. It is also the best option to write a letter of complaint, having said that, it is just as easy to shred a letter as it is to delete an email.

However, this got me thinking: this year (in wo months no less) I turn the somewhat daunting age of forty (40!!). For a few years now I have promised myself that on having reached this magical figure of adulthood I will write a letter to five people who I feel have influenced me from the world of politics, music and art. Some of the people are easy to name: Steven Spielberg; Prince, I think Tony Blair as he got me interested in politics for the first time when he was a young MP. As you can probably gather, this is not a highbrow project! Prince has been a mainstay of mine since 1987's Lovesexy album and Spielberg has enchanted me since Raiders of the Lost Ark in 1981. In the years that followed, I had all of Prince's albums on cassette and all of Spielberg's films on VHS.

Tony Blair comes from a different era to them: he arrived from an interview with FHM when Mr Blair was not even thinking of being party leader (John Smith was in charge before his unfortunate death). I liked his focus and his drive and the fact that he gave politicians at the time a youthfulness that was lacking in the government of John Major, who to a slightly disinterested leftie were all as grey as their Spitting Image puppets indicated.

I have so far written a letter to Mr Spielberg, though it hasn't been sent as I am not forty, yet. It all feels a bit gushing and probably is a little inappropriate and I am not expecting any kind of response, but you never know do you?

As for the other two people, here I am at a indecisive moment. Most of the artists I like have been dead for quite a few years; I could choose a writer but really my  influence came from Roald Dahl, who, of course, is deceased as well. I have been thinking about writing to Robert Harris, as I find all of his books a really good read (The Fear Index is awesome); I could write to Tom Baker, or Peter Davison: my Doctor's.

I am a little stuck and could do with some input from you, my reader. Actors are good; writers are good; teachers are good; philosophers are good; footballers are out (although John Barnes was my hero in the Eighties); television hosts are out, I've already met Bob Monkhouse, plus he's dead.

Ok, in writing this I have come up with a list. Here goes:
John Barnes
Noel Edmonds
Tom Baker
Robert Harris
Vic Reeves
Des Lynam
Carol Vorderman

Ok, not sure of Carol Vorderman is an influence on the way that I think.

Please post your views and any suggestions of people from the Eighties, early Nineties, would be wonderful.