How To Think Outside The Box

Hey...

here's a radical thought -

Why don't Disney make an original story?

'Nah...you're all right mate', says ol' Dis, 'we're just gonna milk the shit out of this load of crap from our back catalogue.'

But, Mr Disney, what of the new stories, characters, situations and worlds being dreamt up by new writers, new authors, new imaginations?

'Fuck off, we're doing Star Wars number 9 and Frozen number 2, and Marvel number 256.'

Since the last blog we had a power-cut at work and instead of the esteemed management from the local authority coming forward and taking control of the situation by, for instance: cancel appointments, health and safety of customers, can we re-direct the work to another office, it was a chaotic mess of fire-fighting and wondering what on earth to do. So my theory goes like this, if all the decision-makers and process-doers of the lower levels are crap, then is it any wonder that Brexit is a right fucking shambles? I mean, if you look into the flow of a river, the shit always rises to the top.

Our authorities, local and nationally, are a fucking joke. The Home Office, and I speak from professional experience of having to deal with these idiots, are absolutely clueless about what is going on. You know, basic stuff like knowing what it is that you have told people to do, that kind of thing. Like, not contradicting yourself and making any process of your invention even more fucking shambolic and confusing.

Brexit, regardless of your vote, is a playground mess. It stands for Brex, meaning Brr it's cold and your an ex, and it, meaning shit.


CALLING ALL WRITERS! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
November is NaNoWriMo, which is an acronym for NAtional NOvember WRIting MOnth. It is a time of the year, just prior to the onslaught of seasonal goodwill and throwing cash at crap plastic items we are all required to write a novel. So just bloody go and do it will you...NOW!

https://www.nanowrimo.org/

Now look here Disney, head over to nanowrimo and see what new authors are doing, what new artists are bringing to the table. Look at the passion, the style, the wide-ranging characters.

'Yep,' ol' Dis says, 'I'll get one of 'em to write Toy Story 22.'

NOW for a regular section I have dubbed -

                                                         CELLOPHANE WARS!

We've got plastic in the seas, plastic in the shops, plastic in the air, plastic in our faces and our arses; a box of tea you might think would not be an offending article. Here it lies, in a cardboard box, wonderful, thank you Yorkshire Tea; oh, and the bags I hope may be biodegradable, perhaps...good stuff Tetley...hang on a minute....

WHY IS THE BOX WRAPPED IN FUCKING CELLOPHANE?!!

The box is sealed by perforation, it does not need more sealing, it's a box, a box has the ability to store things on its own, it doesn't have to be suffocated by yet more plastic.  MWAAAAAW!

Hey Disney, make a story about a load of cardboard at war with plastic, and how plastic is drawing a veil over our world causing toxic pollution. Cardboard soldiers batter through the plastic and suddenly a whole expanse of universe lies ahead begging to be explored.

Anger it seems is everywhere, in the streets, in the living room and in the mind; I have a useful remedy against such batterings to the thought processes, which is:
                                                 ...live in my imagination and not give a fuck....

I know it's not perfect, and comes across as mightily selfish, but hey, you know what I would think about that. It does all depend on the situation however. If someone I love or something that I feel passionate about is causing anger, then I shall deal with it; but general dumb-shits in the town being angry and aggressive, then I refer to my mantra. A good way of living in your imagination is through play, and I recently dug up an old game from Games Workshop entitled - BLOOD BOWL.

Blood Bowl RPG

It's a football game, marrying rugby and NFL, but with orcs and dwarves and elfs and other some such, and as the name suggests, it is bloody. It was  released in 1986 and that is the version I have. Yet now it has expanded to larger platforms, and PS4 and that. There's nothing like a good bit of mindless violence to ease the anger.  Blood Bowl 2 PS4

I also watch films, and in contrast to Blood Bowl you could watch Escape to Victory. This stars Pele, Michael Caine, and Sylvester Stallone as a goalkeeper for a football (soccer) match. It would now be considered a Sunday afternoon movie, https://amzn.to/2Jj8JL6 but that perhaps says more about its age. I recently watched Batman Returns on a Sunday, and it felt as if that had slipped into the genre of easy Sunday movies. Shame as it was something else upon release in 1992. A beautiful gothic love story featuring an assortment of weirdos in fancy dress.
You could also put that one on the list of Christmas movies, and would be a worthy precursor to Gremlins, followed by Die Hard.

So that's thinking outside the box. Tune in next time as I discuss the philosophical merits of Batman; The Movie, featuring that often needed tool the 'Anti-Shark-Repellent Bat-Spray'.

Zac Thraves is a writer and performer currently residing just outside of Europe in a small shanty town called England. You may realise that he likes movies.