Follow Your Own Path and Screw The Rest of Them

Running Away...or Towards?

The last ten days have been far worse than any I can remember for a long time. I have been off on a journey of guilt, pain and mental torture and the driver of the runaway train has been me. Life had become an enormous concrete wall to scale which seemed to rise into infinity, and all the screaming and kicking made not one dent.

When this happens, and it can be for a variety of reasons, no single choice is off the table.

Yet the sun rises again, each and every day.

What I have learnt through this small and significant journey is the importance to listen to YOURSELF. There is a very good word in the English dictionary which sounds almost identical across the world and is useful when being asked to do something that you are not sure you are wanting to do:

NO.

We can dress it up into all sorts of different and splendid clothes, like no thanks, thank you but no, very kind to think of me but no. You get the idea.

Yet for some of us, me included, it seems to be one of the hardest words to say and when I say yes, it is usually to my detriment and ill-health.

Then I find that I am involved in things that I struggle to do, don’t like, or don’t understand and that causes stress which for someone on the spectrum of anxiety and depression is a very dangerous road to be on.

What I should be doing is looking after myself first. You know, on a flight when they warn you about crashing, and they say put on your own oxygen mask first otherwise you’re no good to anyone else; I don’t seem to take that advice into life.

So, a lesson to be learned is to follow your own path and be true to your wishes. After all, a happy you, means a happy person with you and a happy family around you. A stressed and moaning you creates the stressed and moaning people around you.

The important thing is to be authentic; trust your instincts and be honest.

The problem with that however is that some people, i.e. those people who tend to follow their own paths, are labelled as difficult/eccentric/problematic/outrageous/pompous/selfish. What message does that send out to the populace?

Torque-Armada from 2000AD

We should all behave, do as we are told. That is what is expected and that is what you shall do; so when you are faced with choices the thinking tends to sway away from what you want and towards WHAT DO THEY WANT  ME TO DO. That...is...wrong.

We are not taught to be selfish in thought, because the word selfish itself is a bad word. Yet, we are also told to look after ourselves. Where does the dichotomy end!

Swap the word selfish for eccentric and the pill tends to be a little sweeter to swallow. If you are deemed eccentric you are not seen as someone who acts with insults but someone who the masses should probably pay little attention to because...well,

they are a bit mad

So yet again, it is not encouraged to be eccentric as you are a little loopy.

The bottom line is this, and it is something my soul searches for understanding with:

The world is a fucked-up place primarily fucked up by human thought and actions. So, just be the person you want to be and do the things you want to do.

If they are good things, then who gives a crap what anyone thinks and how they choose to label you.

If they are bad things, then you’re just as fucked up as the rest of them.